labor and delivery

So I had my first clinical on labor and delivery. I was scared and horrified that I had to go there. EWWW. I did not want to participate in this, because i would never want to work with laboring pregnant women and little new born babies. Oh how wrong was I. I loved it. I wish I could go back for more. The nurses on L and D are amazing. They run their asses off, have to think critically all of the time, they get to do so much more than other nurses(not really but it just seemed like it), they have more contact with their patients because they don't have CNA (HCA's) on their floor. I only hope to be a nurse who has the opportunity to work on that floor. I loved it. I haven't had a clinical experience like it yet. I went home and was elated from the work. That is what I want to go home exhausted and yet exhilarated from work. Some day.

NO it does not mean that I want to have a child of my own. I just want to help bring them from the womb and into the world and then send them on their way and welcome another one in.

Elimination

So it finally happened I actually attended a class that discussed, in depth my favorite subject. POO. The lecture was entitled elimination...so proper. I laughed out loud numerous times. My classmates will tell you that my laughing is frequent.
School is awesome. Sometimes it is a drag and i wonder why they are wasting time teaching me this shit, but mostly I am super glad to be where I am . I have some really wonderful classmates and have become really close to a few of them. I can't wait to see what the next year and seven months will bring.

AHHHH

So days after the last post I found out that I was on the wait list for school. I was mad, sad and anxiously awaiting an acceptance call. It came a week before school started on May 19. I was so excited my wonderful family dropped everything and my super parents took us all out to a fabulous restaurant. It was all so surreal.
Then school started. The first week, after I had signed my contract, I felt like I would never make it through the first semester let alone 6. I was sure that I would have to pay back all the money after only going to school for this one semester.
Things are looking brighter. I have been doing well and I am passing everything. I am super stressed and am lacking on sleep and fun times. It sometimes seem daunting but I will make it through. I mean I couldn't really get a cushier ride. Tuition paid for, books paid for, and a job when I get done. Come on now.
I am super happy to be in the program, I just have to remind myself of the things that will come after school. I want to send many thanks to my parents. My dad is awesome, he may not understand all that I talk about, I may skip some important things, but he is always there full of support. I love that. My mom always encouraging and standing right there by my dad to help him when he can not quite grasp what I have going on. Super Duper power sisters that I have. You all put up with so much from me. I love that you all keep me so in line and that you actually want to spend time with my grumpy ass is amazing. Friends if you only new how much I wanted to put off everything and just chill. I would give anything to hang out and not have a care in the world.

Thanks for all that you all do. School will be done in slightly less than 2 years. I take the NCLEX with 6 months of that and god willing get to start to practice Nursing. Then I hope all that you remember about me during this time is how thankful I am.

Nursing School

I have been working on getting into school. Sometimes I am really working hard on stuff and other times not so hard. Well I am on the waiting list for a program. The program is sponsored by the University Hospital and run through Salt Lake community college. It is free. I pay nothing and have to sign a contract to work for UHC for three years. I am number #2 on the alternate list.

Send all the good vibes that you can spare my way so that I can start school on May 19.

TTFN

reflections

So the other day I worked a double at Porcupine. For those out of touch with restaurant lingo...that means that I worked to shifts which ends up basically being all day, open to close, and most likely more than 12 hours or really stinking close. I was just helping someone out. I did it once before and I swore never to do it again, and this time I mean it.....never. Well maybe....just kidding Jess. I promise.

The day shift was blah and I was not all the way with it. Nothing remarkable happened nothing was dropped, forgotten or lost. All was moderately okay....is that possible. I drank the night before and did not run or exercise before I went to work so I was not 100% Jacque. Sucks right.

The night shift went great. I was upstairs my first few tables were awesome. Skiers and men. I do not have to say anything else. I then got a 7 person table. It was all women. They already had drinks, due to the long wait for a table. I had their waters and everything ready for them. I greeted them on time, offered and ordered their apps at their leisure....I understand that it takes women a long time to agree on things. Whatever. The first thing I hear while I am standing their waiting for their attention is one person saying "you won't believe what I did. I actually made friends with my sisters -in-laws." The person saying this is sort of slouched in her chair and you can tell she is the take charge sort (by that I mean she is bossy...she re-ordered for the girl next to her...something different...by the way). My first impression....Jesus Christ....what a bitch.
Apps and drinks come entrees are on the way, more drinks. I am doing the general filling of waters, clearing, and all the things you expect as a diner. Everything comes on time, it is correct, I brought extra plates and condiments for all those sharing. All which it expected and due to you as a patron. I split the bills, even though it was not specified at the beginning, which is hard with so many drink and split items. I told them it would take a few extra minutes to do this.
This 7 top of women chill for a few more minutes...prob 10. I get the receipt and the bossy yet relaxed lady had left me a nice little reminder on how to treat people.
"It would have been nice if you could have shown a little kindness I was displaying it. I would have tipped you tripple."(sic)

This lady needs to fuck off. I only reflected the poorly created image that she was displaying. I was laughing and having a good time with the rest of my tables. Basically she and I did not really jive with each other and as you all know I have a hard time hiding these things. I show how I feel clearly in all my facial expressions and I was also probably tired.

The main theme of this bloggy is that I don't have to kiss your ass just because you are eating at my restaurant. I will not kiss your ass. I will not be fake to your ass unless I want to do so. I do not need your money if it means sacrificing anything like my personal dignity. Think about that the next time you go out. Most likely she did not think about this. I am a person I have judgements, reservations and I can make up my own mind. I will do all of these things all the time, or whenever I choose to, so be careful how you treat me. You just might get the exact same in return.

Ahhhh

Seriously....I am trying really hard to remember that I even have this blog. Thanks Mel for reminding me.

I am having such a good time with everything right now I just don't think that I can write anything. usually everything I write is mean. So I might just have to say hi to you all....no one prob checks anymore cause I have not been here for months....oh well.

When something bad happens or I start to feel poopie I think I will stop in a write some of the awful things that I see and experience. But for now....laugh.

just to say something

I haven't been here in awhile. I just haven't had anything super duper to say. However, I was looking around at others blogs and wanted some people to update (natalie) and felt i couldn't ask someone to update if i wasn't willing to do the same.

I always post things that bug or drive me nuts. I think this time I will post something about things I like or that i am thankful for.

I am really glad that no one at my current job (u of u) is aware of my blog. They don't need to be apart of this part of my life.

I am super happy that I have such great sisters that will and do help me through anything. I always appreciate it, even when it is not precisely how I wanted it done. I have issues I am working on them.

I like co-workers who do their job and help out when you can't fully do your job by yourself. It is nice to know that others are aware of what you are going through.

That is all that i have to say....I have one post in progress but I don't think I will finish it until I am done serving at Porcupine. I need time to collect info.

Things people ask me while at work

1. What is the thing you like least about this job?
Why it bugs...
lets focus on the positive...not the negative
You don't want to know because sometimes it is you and the things you say
Honest answer when people don't say please or thank you....I hate to be told/barked at

2. How long are you here? 12 hrs. Wow I don't think I could do that....
I want to respond,you would be able to if you knew you didn't have to come back for 4 days and really the time just flies because I rarely get to sit....it isn't like the office...oh no sister

or after that they say

3. Where did you sleep? or Did you sleep as badly as I did? No I didn't sleep at all....I am at work.....seriously I never want any contact with the place that these people work...what gets done

4. How many other patients do you have?
Um seriously just you I sit and watch TV when I am not in the room with you, that is why sometimes I can't be with you right away, you know I can't come in until it is commercial break.
Seriously I have a lot of other patients....sometimes I just don't have Patience.

REALLY I LIKE MY JOB AND I AM BEGINNING TO REALLY LOVE HELPING PEOPLE. I am not sick...so I don't love it all the time...it can be really hard and tiring.

Nice cars, Old women and BAD Driving Skills

So the other day while on my way to meet some friends for lunch, I had two older ladies almost hit me, or should I say run into my car.

The first was pulling out into the street from my place of residence. There is construction going so there is only one lane in the south bond traffic, which is the way that I was going. I had to wait for the light since it was a left hand turn. I went after it turned green and then out of my peripheral vision I see a Lexus cruising toward me. I slam on the brakes. AWWW Shit. She totally ran a read light, seems that getting to walmart quickly is worth almost hurting someone livelihood other than theirs. I honked and then proceeded on my way. I was pissed. Funny thing we were going to the same place. I honked at her as I passed her in the parking lot and then I gave her the bird. If she had actually dared to get out of her car I would have told her how responsible she had just been.

The second was an older lady in a BMW wagon. Totally cut me off trying to get onto the freeway. She moved over into my lane, almost grabbing my bumper as she did this, just outside of the intersection.

Seriously, I know we all want to get somewhere, but for crying out loud cars cause damage. They are made of metal, they hurt, and it is expensive.

What I want to know is if it is just a coincidence that they were both older women with nice cars or if it is in fact because these women are more reckless then needs be. Do they reason that they car drive with little skill or awareness since they have a lot of money and can pay for any damages (human or car)? Or is it that they just could give a shit about anyone else? Or maybe it is just that they might have made it this far through life without much strife and feel that they are impervious to bad things (I think this one pushes it...but I can not remember my exact thoughts of that morning.)

Seriously what do you all think?

By the way I did not name this blog Bombastic Opinions for nothing...if you do not like it do not read it. I am still a nice person even though I do not always think nice thoughts. Come back tomorrow for my feelings on society.

AAHHH work

So for those of you who know me. I have been working (literally) quite hard at getting into nursing school to become a nurse. I took another big step recently. I accepted a job at the University Hospital in SLC. They just started their own program that they will pay for if you commit to working for them for at least 3 years. *&^% Yeah. I don't want to pay for &*(0.

I have been working there for 2 months. I have completed my training. It only took 5.3 weeks. Yikes. Hell yeah. I have been on my own for a few weeks. A couple of grave weeks and one day week.

To be honest with you I thought that I might be in the wrong place. I had some serious doubts about what I have been working toward. I didn't think I could do it. Not one bit.

I have made myself commit to at least six months of doing this. I think you need at least that with any job. You are still learning the first few months how to do it all, then you are getting your routine set, and then you are getting good at it. So I have until December to make it official.

So the week that I thought I was in the wrong place was just a busy week. One shift I didn't get to sit down and eat at all. I had some coffee and fruit snacks half way through my 12 hours. I couldn't think and made no sense at all when talking to patients. I was having night mares about vital signs. AAHHH it was bad.

BUT.... I think this might just be what day shifts are like. Pure shit. I don't like them. I want to work only nights....graves rock hard.

This last week was the best I have had...don't confuse this with me thinking it will be the best ever. There will be more shitty weeks with just as many good/great weeks. Lets hope the good/great out weigh the shit.

I even had a patient shit on me. Seriously. Most terrifying experience ever but definitely made me realize that I am in the right place. I can handle it. I can. Yeah. I may be nervous as you can be....but I can do it.

Since this is so long I will post some amazing stories later on. They are great.

to clarify a little about talking about # 2

Hey so that you all know and are not confused. I don't talk about poo with strangers. I don't say to the person next to me, "WOW that was the biggest greenest poop I ever had .....and oowwee the smell."
NO generally it is with people that I know, mostly people that I work with, and some close friends who I know have the same interest or pooing abilities that I have.

I rarely if ever talk about the color, the viscosity, or the smell. I might, however, done this at one time or another if it was quite remarkable. I do however talk about the frequency of my poos, the schedule that I am on for poos, and the greatness of the poo if it is noteworthy.

I will tell you how this talking of poo began. I was in the hospital once for a few days (15). I had a hard time having a BM there. In fact I went 5 days with out a BM. It was the most painful experience ever, I wanted to die. I was crying because there was nothing I could do. Suppositories were the only thing that worked. EMBARRASSING. I made a promise to myself to never let that happen again. When I am on pain pills I try to get off them quick...part of the problem. Since that time I count my poos. I have quite a few in a day. Some are shocked but it is true. I poo a lot. 3-5. yes 3-5 times a day. not a week a day.

If I get off schedule I know it. I think about it. I think that more people should be as aware of things like this. If you know what it looks like or the frequency of it. You will be able to determine a lot about your body if something starts to go wrong. Doesn't your doc ask about poo and urine when you visit if you have a prob?

Poo is alright. I try not to talk about it with strangers. Just kidding I don't unless they bring it up. customers at tables at ppine have done this. If they bring it up it is fair game.

Thank you all for your input. I will try to keep me poo knowledge to those who appreciate it. You know who you are. Most importantly I know who you are.

hmmm normal

so I just want to pose a question to everyone out there in blog land. Poo

Do you think it is normal or abnormal to talk about it?

I wan to know your opinion.

Cole, Kris, and I in Cali (Pismo Beach style)

Commuting

Hell yeah....I have been commuting. I just want to give it a try and i think that it will help me get up so that I am not always running from my car to the time clock.
Well in my minimal few days of travel I have witnessed something odd. I has to do with people and public transport.

I have a link to a blog about people and what they read in SF. Well if I were to do this blog in SLC it would be short. On one day in, one car, just looking at about 12 people....that is two rows of people. I witnessed 3 book of Mormon readers. Yes they were marking and taking notes also. So you can see how the blog would be boring...it might be interesting to see how often they read it and if they read any other types of books.....HM an idea?
Any way on this particular day sitting across from one of the gentlemen (yes they were all men) there was another man reading a book....you will love this. The title of the book was "Group Therapy in the bed room" seriously where else. I was dying...but then it was like 0620. I just wanted to do that but it was really early and I didn't have coffee.

Wait for more....everyday is an experience on TRAX....really a whole new world of people take public transport.

new job

i got a new job. I have been wanting to do this for awhile, but lacked the motivation to do anything about it. I started applying in May and had some interviews. One went really awesome. I didn't get that job but she gave me a great reference. Told me that she would have loved to hire me but they had only one opening and I just didn't have enough experience. She asked if she could give me a reference or a recommendation for future position in the hospital. Hell Yeah anything to help a girl out. I got a call like 3 hours later setting up another appointment. I got that job. Seriously it is awesome when people give a little more effort and I totally benefited from someone giving a little more.

I will be working as a CNA at the University of Utah hospital on 6 north. I am taking a pay cut. I have to commute. I have to work a lot more and probably a lot harder than I do now. I am so excited about this. REALLY. I think it couldn't have come at a better time.

It is crazy how things just fall into place when you are ready to move on or just ready to step into that next phase of your life. I guess that is why it takes me so long to do anything I wait until it falls into place rather than making it happen. Well I guess I am making it happen just by doing the things that I am doing.

One step closer to nursing school.

Oh on a side note. This is the same floor that I was a patient on when I was hurt a few years ago. How odd is that or do you think it is just one of those things? tell me what you think

5 tag thing

I thought this might be fun

5 things on my to do list:

Get into nursing school
Buy new mtn bike
run a 1/2 marathon
successfully train and compete in a triathlon
be a happy successful individual

5 snacks that I enjoy:

lemonheads
diet dr pepper
coffee
bars of any kind (nutritional, protein/fiber goodness)
grapefruit

5 things I would do if I was a billionaire:

i would buy a house so the gov wouldn't take all my single earnings
give most of it away to the tax guys
buy my new mtn bike with all expense spared attitude and then buy a road bike to go with it
TRAVEL (some humanitarian missions others total fun)
whatever else...who knows

5 habits that I have:

I talk about poo and farts excessively
once I get into a book I can not put it down
walking fast and wondering why no one else does
scratching my head
constantly correcting people in my head when they say things

5 places I have lived:

Anaheim (we count this because I have not moved very far or many places in my life)
Logan
Salt Lake City (many subs of SLC so we will just count as one)

5 jobs I have had:

HR/payroll/Accts payable for CRS
server of food substances
transporter (orderly)
t shirt company (I took the shirts off the dryer once they were inked...ouch)
roofer

5 people that I am tagging:

Kris, Natalie, Nicole, Danielle, Ann Marie, Dusty, Shannon or any of you muthas that feel like it

KILLING ME

So I have been sick for about 4 days.....yeah some may say that isn't that long. It is killing me. I won't go into details about what it has been like. Just know that I haven't been able to eat and and I am starving. Seriously it took me 3 hours to finish a subway sandwich. It shouldn't ever take that long. What's worse than that....it comes out way faster than that.

So I thought I would be able to handle a bike ride on Wednesday...stupid...stupid...stupid. When you are feeling down and all you want to do is be active and you have no energy do not ride the Temple quarry trail......you will feel like an ass. I had to walk stuff that I never walk. It took me forever and someone was waiting at the top for me. It totally sucked. So instead of making me feel better, I just felt worse.

I now know not to do things when I am sick. It is killing me 'cause I have been trying (and succeeding) in getting out and running/biking every other day. But not now. It drives me mad. But I know if I take it easy that I will be able to do it again sooner than if not and I will feel lots better.

I think tomorrow I will be able to be active again. I will try not to push it. I can at least eat today. YEAH. But the energy level is still really low and it is used up quickly....lots of sleep, water and good nutrients.

Does anyone else ever feel this way?

one month

So since it has been almost a month since my last post I decided to write a little ditty.
I have been really busy. Music has been a big thing for me this last month. I volunteered at a music festival (Desert Rocks). Awesome time. Rained mostly and a lot of drinking....fun to do when you are camping. One week without a shower and I left the trip early. I was done with drinking and dirt. I had a really awesome time. I totally might do it again.

I also have been going to local shows mainly small venues. Anywhere they have good-to-decent music. I really like to shake it.

I went to Kanye West last night. Great time. It has been a really long time since I have been to a big production. It was amazing. I am still reeling from it. Awesome. Super FUN.

More to come.

Ammendment

To make an ammendment to the last post.....there are some people that I love to talk to. Sometimes we talk to much and the evening has to be cut short. But that post was more about people who force small talk because they are uncomfortable without talking. I think that is what I dislike the most about having to talk.

There are some people who just can't get me to shut up. I just feel that conversation is probably one of the most important things in any relationship. If you can't have a good one with a person you might as well just give it up cause it isn't going to get any better with that person.

Talking

Okay so most of you know that I am not a talker. I use economy with my language skills. I try not to always be talking. I don't think it is always necessary to banter with people, IE: coworkers, strangers in line, people that you don't know or have anything in common with, tellers, clerks, any of the above and/or sales persons.

It is like that talking heads song "say something once why say it again.....you're talking a lot but you're not saying anything...my lips are sealed" it goes on but why bore you. I just feel that if we don't have much in common or I have already been talking to you about lots and lots of things it is okay to just not talk. Don't try to drum up some random convo....and if I don't jive with it don't say something dumb like...."well there goes the small talk." Believe me I just think you are being a big ass.

I know talking is good and good communication is even better....but for the love of god try to just chill and not open your mouth because you can't stand to let you brain think and ponder. Let others enjoy the silence. Or not just don't expect me to stay in the room much longer.